Do you know what is to stick hundreds of knives in your stomach,
then begin to dig deeper and deeper
until they reach the most painful place?
then to continue.
they strung the knives with malicious smile,
point fingers and mock you.
then they repeat it.
and again,
and again.
and when u think that it's fully enough,
they do it again..
and then they continue.
any of you know? you know?
do you feel it? do you see it?
do you know what it feels like?
I walked with a smile on my face when I met a friend. she told me to go ahead without looking around. without asking or wondering why. My smile began to melt. When someone tells you to do not do something it takes even greater desire in you to do it, it creates curiosity. and although her advice, although I knew what I'm gonna see, I looked around and saw this, what I had not. at that moment I had forgotten that I just smiled a little ago. and as many times as I had seen this, something was tearing me apart in a very painful way, every time. every fucking time. but do you know what?
Аll the while I was pretending that I do not care, that i did not get hurt.
but everything inside me was screaming just the opposite.
Anyway, I learned to put a smiling mask every time I die inside.
So I did.
I just kept on my way and I just kept smiling.
No matter how much it hurts. No matter how much I didn't want it to.
I just put
a big smile on my face
and did not
let em
see my weakness.
